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Jun. 24th, 2006

Miscarriage: Tattoo


Sharing time

Okay, I know not everyone is happy with the way we've been sharing time lately. I know you guys know how hard it is to make this work for everyone, so let's just put in suggestions and ideas here, ok?

In importance I think it should go

Housework really means dishes, food, things like that. The stuff that really NEEDS to be done.

I think that anyone who puts in time at work doing the job should be allocated time after work to do things they like to do.

Stuff that needs to get done, needs to get done. Mostly it doesnt' matter too much WHO does it, though. Obviously as always, nobody who can't pretend to be me should be out at work. That still leaves sleep and housework fairly open - and though these are jobs too, they might be a good option for those of us who just want time out and don't really care too much what they're doing.

We all know that play means something different to every one of us. I have been listening to the stuff that's come up and thinking about it. Now I'm doing something about it. I figure we've got about 2.5 hours Monday - Wednesday every week, plus time on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Some of you know that I've spoken with the Chorus about some ways of dealing with this. One suggestion was a semi regular story time with the littles. How does this sound?

Thinking about other things we can do either with the Chorus or by ourselves.

Computer games

SPECIAL (stuff requiring prior agreement etc)
Going to the park
Occasional trips to the beach(?)
Gigs with the Chorus
Night on the town with the girls at work
Going out to the movies
Going out to dinner

I'm proposing something like this:
30min housework
15min "rest" to allow the body to relax and unwind a bit
45min play for whoever went to work who wants time (to split between all who want/need it)
20min for littles & mids
20min for teens & adults
20min wind-down - reading, TV

The main problem I can see is that there physically isn't enough time in the day for everybody to get some time. I'm thinking maybe a draw system, or a tally system, for those who want out. And for the activities that require a longer period of time, then either sharing time for the whole activity and/or making arrangements to swap your out time with others. What does everyone think? Any other suggestions?

A big thing I want to mention is that probably the 20min time periods for littles/etc shouldn't include anyone out in the 45min period, tho the snuggle/adult time can.

If we all agree to try this, we can start giving it a go on Monday, using whatever system you guys think will work best.

May. 25th, 2006

Miscarriage: Tattoo


Creating A Contract

Most of you know by now that we need to look into a couple of contracts. Some of these will be inner system contracts & inner system rules, others will involve the Chorus.

We have already agreed that the most important, and therefore first, contract we should tackle is that dealing with intimacy.

So far the following considerations have been put forth to protect all of us, and to protect the Chorus:

(&) This is not Dawni's relationship alone, it is a group relationship.
(&) "Adult" intimacy is not for littles or middles. Nor is it for anybody who wants to use it as a way to hurt the system or themselves.
(&) Our safe word is Iraq.
(&) The Chorus are not mind readers. Be aware that they may not realise if you are triggered or suffering a flashback.
(&) The Chorus will refrain from calling out insiders solely for intimacy purposes (?)
(&) Insiders are free to offer or initiate intimacy as long as they follow the other contract rules
(&) If littles or middles are asked to "move back" from co-fronting for intimacy reasons, and promised a reward; that reward /must/ be given.

Note that these are simply considerations; they are not the hard and fast rules. This is not the contract.

Does anybody have anything further to add?

May. 20th, 2006

Miscarriage: Tattoo


Role Call & Rules

Role call!

Use any of the attached journals to post a reply letting us know that you are here and willing to use this journal for better group communication.

* If you don't want strangers to see, make sure you make use of the "friends only" posting option.
* It's okay to disagree, but please try and keep things to a "nice" level.
* If you're posting only to a sub group, make sure you note that somewhere on the post. If there's major call for it, sub groups can always get their own Live Journals.
* Trigger warnings are a definite. If you know something will bother someone, warn them!
* Littles are welcome to have their say on issues, but please stick to posts marked "Safe". To ensure the best communication, posts made by littles may be edited and retyped by adults or teens to be placed above or below the original post.

No major decisions will be undertaken without due consideration of everybody's opinion.* This means that wheresoever possible, no major decision will be undertaken until at least 24 hours after the decision has been brought to the attention of the group.
Major decisions are hereforth defined as changes affecting our status, lifestyle, appearance and so forth. Anything that cannot be easily undone pretty much falls into this category. If you're not sure - put it forth regardless.
Yes, suicide falls into this category. No, self harm within reason doesn't.

*"Everybody" refers to every single or multiple individual within Tonight's Sky who wishes to give an opinion either by use of this community, via the internal Notice Board or by oral communication internally or externally with TheChorusOfOne.

June 2006



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